Barely hanging on
by MaryAuksi
Summary: Emma gets raped and she turns to Jay. Jay is secretly crushing on Emma. Can Emma leave the pain behind and trust Jay? Probably Jemma, but can turn to Semma.
1. What happened?

Hey everyone. Yes, I'm starting a new fanfiction. But I will still update the other one, also. So keep reading both. And last but definitely NOT least, PLEASE review.

So, it's rated T. It contains rape. And don't be very mad, because it hasn't happened to me (THANK GOD!) and I can make some mistakes about the acting etc.

And sadly, I don't own Degrassi…

So, here's my new fanfiction:

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Chapter 1: What happened?

Emma was in the ravine to tell Jay it's over. That she has gonorrhea. She saw a familiar face.

"You're so gonna get kicked out!" Emma yelled.

"Wanna have fun?" that someone asked.

"No! Of course not!" Emma said, "Let go!"

He dragged Emma to his car and threw her to his backseat.

"Please! Why are you doing this to me?" Emma cried.

She screamed, but no-one came. He raped her and then threw her out of the car, driving away. Emma had nowhere to go. She ran to Jay's house. She knocked on the door, slammed it with her fists, but no-one came.

"Damn it Jay!" Emma cried.

She crawled into a ball and just sat there, crying. Jay got home at 12pm.

"Yo, homeless, back off! I'm not gonna let you in." Jay said.

Emma raised her head, still crying.

"Emma, is that you? What happened?" Jay asked.

Emma didn't say anything. Jay wanted to carry her inside, but she pulled away.

"It's ok. I won't hurt you." Jay said, carrying her inside.

He placed her to the couch. Emma just lied there, shaking and crying. Jay brought her a cup of water and a blanket.

"What happened?" Jay asked, again.

"I was in the ravine, to tell you that I have gonorrhea and that we're through. And then he… he… dragged me to his car and… and…" Emma stuttered, crying.

"Why did you come here, then? If you hate me…" Jay asked.

"I don't hate you. You… you're strong. You can protect me." Emma said.

"I bet Simpson can protect you as well." Jay said.

"I don't want to see him!" Emma shouted.

"He did this, didn't he?" Jay got up.

"Don't go! Don't leave me here!" Emma cried.

"Uh… ok. Let's go, I'll show you where you can sleep. I'll sleep on the couch." Jay carried Emma to his bed.

Jay was about to go away, when Emma whispered: "Stay with me. I don't want to be alone."

Jay lied next to Emma and watched her until she was asleep.

**Author's note: So… REVIEW! Because I really want to know if this story sucks so I can just leave it. Ok? So review.**


	2. Snake, tell me you didn't!

Thanks for the reviews. But I'm afraid that in some point this will still turn to Semma. But I'm not sure yet, so Jemma lovers, please keep reading.

So, the new chapter:

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Chapter 2: Snake, tell me you didn't!

She was in the car, begging and screaming for her step dad to stop.

"Stop! Please! Jay, help!" Emma screamed.

"Emma! Em, wake up!" Jay shook Emma.

Emma woke up and instantly hugged Jay, never wanting to let go.

"It was just a dream." Jay hugged her back.

"No! It happened. Last night…" Emma cried.

She saw Jay getting angry.

"Please, don't do anything." Emma said.

"_What?_ Emma, he raped you! He has to go to jail! Or at least he'll get beaten up!" Jay exclaimed.

"No! I can't testify! I'm not that strong! Please!" Emma cried.

"So you'll live with him for the rest of your life? I don't think so, Emma!" Jay got up and stormed out of the house.

It was Friday, 9am in the morning. But Snake was still at home, to calm down Spike, who was calling to all of Emma's friends she knew. Jay stormed into Simpson-Nelson household and grabbed Snake by his throat.

"Who are you? I'm calling the police!" Spike yelled, grabbing baby Jack and dialing the number.

"Yeah, you better will! Because this freak here will go to jail!" Jay exclaimed, beating Snake.

"Stop it! What are you talking about?" Spike was confused.

Jay threw Snake onto the couch.

"He… he raped Emma!" Jay said.

"What? No! This can't be true! Snake, tell me you didn't!" Spike started to cry.

"I'm calling to the police." Jay grabbed the phone from Spike and dialed the number.

When Jay had said to the police, what Emma told him, he went to his home with Spike. When they got there, they found Emma shaking and crying, again. Spike sat next to Emma and hugged her.

"I'm so sorry Em!" Spike said, "Let's go home now."

"No!" Emma exclaimed.

"Snake's not there. Let's go sweetie." Spike convinced Emma.

"I'll pick you up on Monday at 7.45am." Jay said.


	3. The MI lab

First, some answers:

FindMeBroken: I have no idea why Emma always gets raped. I started a story kinda like this a year ago. Emma is my fave character to write stories to. Even when she gets raped or something.

Socialbutterfly85: As you can see, I am writing new chapters.

So, here's the new chapter:

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Chapter 3: The MI lab

It was Monday.

"Are you sure you want to go, Em?" Spike asked.

"I don't know… What if he's at school?" Emma worried.

"He's not in the school. I think the principal has already fired him." Spike assured her.

They heard Jay's car horn. Emma hesitatingly went to Jay's car and got in.

"Hey." Jay said.

"I hope he's not at school." Emma mumbled.

"If the court let him free before the court, then just ignore him." Jay said, "Or tell me. I can handle it."

When Jay pulled his car in front of Degrassi, Emma wouldn't move.

"What's wrong?" Jay asked.

"He's here." Emma said.

"He can't do anything to you here. C'mon." Jay convinced Emma.

After some hesitation, Emma got out of the car and went to the school.

After the lesson, which was MI, Snake asked: "Can I talk to you, Emma?"

"I'll wait for you at your locker, ok?" Manny went out.

"No! Manny!" Emma exclaimed but Manny was already gone.

When Snake locked the door, Emma crawled to a corner.

Meanwhile-

Jay was waiting for Emma at her locker.

"Where's Emma?" Jay asked Manny.

"Talking to his dad… Why do you care?" Manny asked.

_Shit! _Jay swore in his thoughts. "_What?_" he exclaimed and stormed to the MI lab.

The door was locked.

For Jay's luck, Marco walked by.

"Hey, you, gay kid! You're the school president, right. I guess you must have extra keys." Jay pointed to the MI lab's door.

Marco nodded and opened the door, thinking why Jay would want to go there. He didn't believe what he saw. Snake was already on the top of Emma, whose mouth was taped and he only had her bra on. Jay hit Snake into the stomach and then went for Emma. He placed his jacket on her shoulders.

"I wanna go home." Emma cried when Jay had taken of the tape.

"Let's go." Jay picked Emma up.

Marco was explaining to Ms. Hatzilakos what he saw. In the same time, Snake was taken away by the police.

"Jason, I want to talk to you when you get back. In my office." Ms. H said.

"Em, what happened?" Manny rushed to Jay and Emma.

"I'll tell you when I get back." Jay said to Manny.

When they got to Emma's home, Jay called Spike. When Spike got there, Jay went back to school.

"Hello, Jason." Ms. H pointed to a chair where Jay could sit, "How did you know Simpson could be dangerous to Emma?"

"Coz' it happened on Friday night." Jay said, "Where is he?"

"I fired him. And when he comes closer to Emma more than 100metres, then he'll go to jail." Ms. H answered.

Jay went out of the principal's office just to bump into Manny.

"He raped her, didn't he? Why didn't she tell me? Why you?" Manny asked, tears in her eyes.

"Dunno." Jay answered.

**Author's note: So, this was the 3rd chapter. Liked it? Hated it? REVIEW! I'll get the next chapter up, since I have already handwritten it.**


	4. Who's back?

Ok, Thanks for the reviews.

Here's the next chapter (which is on the same day as the last):

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Chapter 4: Who's back?

Meanwhile, Emma was home alone, because Spike had to work. At first she heard a car stop. Then the doorbell rang. Emma took a knife from the counter and went to the door.

"Emma!"

"Sean!" Emma dropped the knife and hugged Sean, "Come in."

Emma picked up the knife and they went in. When they sat down, Emma instantly pulled away from Sean. _Wrong move, Em. _–She though.

"Em, what's wrong? Aren't you glad to see me?" Sean asked.

Emma looked away to avoid Sean's eyes and answered: "Nothing, Sean. I'm glad you're back. Really."

"Em, something's wrong. Look at me." Sean insisted.

Emma looked up to him. He was still the same Sean. Emma's boyfriend. EX-boyfriend, to be exact. She had to tell him. But how?

"I… I got raped. Is that something you really wanna know?" Emma cried.

"Who did this?" Sean asked.

"You don't want to know…" Emma said, hoping he won't ask.

"Yes I do. Please, Em. I need to know." Sean insisted.

"It was… Snake…" Emma said.

"_What? _Snake?" Sean exclaimed.

He hugged Emma, when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." Sean said.

"Sean Cameron? That's a surprise!" Snake said.

Sean hit him in the stomach a few times and then said: "Get outta here! Now!"

"Jay already did that…" Emma mumbled.

"Jay? What has he got to do with this?" Sean was confused.

"We hooked up once. He was the only one to go to after what happened." Emma said.

"Hook up? You had sex?" Sean asked.

"Oral. Once. He gave me STD. But I don't have that anymore." Emma answered.

"After Snake… Did you go to the hospital?" Sean worried.

"No." Emma said.

"I think you should." Sean said.

"Can we drop this? I want to get off these thoughts, ok?" Emma pleaded.

"Ok. When will your mom come home? I want to know if I can sleep here till I find my own place." Sean said.

"So you're back for good?" Emma asked.

"Yeah." Sean said.

"Why did you come back, anyway?" Emma asked.

"I missed you." Sean confessed.

"Really? Anyway, you can sleep on the couch, I think. But be prepared for taking care of Jack sometimes. Since you live here for a while." Emma looked kind of panicked.

"What's wrong, Em? I really did miss you." Sean said.

"Nothing. I just need to go to the computer. I want to know my homework." Emma said. _I didn't lie. Ok, a little. Because I really have to study. **Emma, this is Sean! You shouldn't be afraid of him. He saved your life!**_

"I already got it from Ms. H." Sean said.

"Ok, I'll just go grab my books from downstairs." Emma went downstairs.

_She's afraid of me. And I don't know what to do. Great._

Emma went to messenger. Conversation with Manny:

GreenyPeace: Manny!

Chicka: Emma why didn't you tell me? I'm your friend, you know that.

GreenyPeace: Sean's back! He's here!

Chicka: WHAT? Why is he back?

GreenyPeace: He missed me. Manny, what will I do? Sean's my friend and my ex-boyfriend. And I'm so afraid of him right now.

Chicka: He won't do anything to you. He cares about you.

GreenyPeace: I can't go upstairs.

Chicka: C'mon Em! He won't do anything.

Chicka: Sorry, gtg! Ttyl

Manny logged off.

_I'm not going upstairs._

Sean waited for Emma about 15 minutes and then decided to check if she's alright.

"Emma?" Sean looked at the body under the blankets.

"Go away. Please." Emma cried.

"Em, it's ok. I won't hurt you." Sean said.

"I want to be alone. Please go away!" Emma cried.

"Ok. I'll be upstairs watching TV." Sean said.

At 5.30pm, Spike got home.

"Sean? Is that you?" she asked.

"Yup, it's me. Emma said I can live here till I find my own place. If it's ok with you." Sean said.

"Yeah, of course. Can you hold him for a second; I'll put the food away." Spike handed Jack to Sean.

When she was ready, she went downstairs.

"Em?" Spike looked at the body under the blankets.

"Mom? What's the time?" Emma asked.

"5.30pm. Did you sleep all the time? It's not nice, when you have a guest." Spike said.

"I was uncomfortable with him." Emma confessed.

"Come upstairs now, let's eat." Spike said.

On the next morning-

"Cameron, that you?" Jay asked when he got to Emma's home, where Sean and Emma were already waiting.

"Hey man! I'm back for good." Sean said.

"Get to the car, will you! We're already late, thanks to Jay!" Emma was frustrated.

Sean and Jay rolled their eyes. Emma sat on the backseat. Sean chose the front seat.

On the lunch break-

Emma, Jay and Sean were eating together, when Alex walked by.

"Jeez Emma! I thought Jay was enough, but you hooked up with your step dad and with Sean, also!" Alex sneered.

"Shut up or you'll regret it." Jay got up.

"I won't regret this. It's fun to tease Green Peace. Can't you remember, Jay?" Alex smirked.

Emma got up, trying to hold back her tears.

"For your information, I didn't _hook up _with my step dad, neither with Sean! My step dad _raped_ me! I'm sick of you always teasing me, without knowing the facts! I was _raped!_" Emma yelled, so everyone in the cafeteria heard her.

Then she ran out of the cafeteria.

"Nice, Alex." Sean rushed after Emma, so did Jay.

"I had no idea!" Alex yelled after them.

Emma ran into the counselor's office. At least no-one was there, except Sauve.

"I'm so sorry. I just had to get away." Emma said.

"It's ok. I heard about you, Emma. I wanted to talk to you, anyway." Sauve said.

"No. I don't want to talk about this." Emma started to go away, when Sauve grabbed her hand,

"Let go. Please." Emma started to sob.

Sauve let her go.

"I gotta go. Sean and Jay are looking for me." Emma walked out of the office, just to bump into Alex.

She kept walking, when Alex grabbed her hand.

"Let go." Emma hissed and pulled her hand back.

"I'm sorry, ok? I shouldn't have said those things. I didn't know that you were… You know." Alex apologized.

"Ok. I gotta go." Emma walked off to her homeroom.

When she got there, everyone were just staring at her. She took her seat next to Sean.

"Where were you?" Sean whispered.

"Doesn't matter. I want to go home." Emma whispered back.

She walked to Mrs. Kwan's desk.

"Can I go home?" she asked.

"No. Sorry, Emma." Kwan said.

Frustrated, Emma walked back to her seat.

When the lessons ended, Jay drove them home.

"I'll come pick you guys up tomorrow morning." Jay said.

"Sean's got a car also. Let's meet in the lunch break." Emma said.

"Ok. See ya!" Jay drove away.

**Author's note: So, liked this? One person told me, that Snake's appearing in the school was unrealistic. Well, actually, he's going to be there in the next chapter, AGAIN. And that Marco having the keys thing: I took it from another fanfiction.**

**This came out long. And actually, it'll be longer. The next chapter was supposed to be in this chapter, also. But I thought it'll come out too long, then.**

**So, REVIEW!**


	5. The Detention

Answers to some critical reviews:

„Why did Emma turn to Jay? " – I asked that from my cousin, you know. Because even I had no idea why I wrote it.

First, she (my cousin) thinks I'm in the „Bad boy – good girl"period.

Second, Emma trusted Jay. Even if he gave her STD. think about this: She felt safe with Jay when she went to the van. Right?

„Why did Emma tell Sean about Jay and Snake so soon?"

I have no idea. Lol. But really. I'm not an expert in this. I don't know anything about acting when you have been raped, because thank god I haven't been raped.

But now, let's get to the chapter:

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Chapter 5: The detention

It's still the same day and the same time

Emma went inside.

"Ok, Emma, I have no clue how to do this!" Sean waved his math's textbook in front of Emma.

"Come on, I'll show you." Emma laughed and went to the living room.

After some time, Sean couldn't resist. He knew this was too much for Emma to take, but he had to do this. When his lips touched Emma's, she quickly got up.

"Uh… Let's do English now. We have a book report for tomorrow and…" Emma said when Sean cut her:

"Em, you're safe with me. I won't do anything. I promise. I-I'm sorry." Sean said.

"I'm not safe with anyone!" Emma ran out of the house.

"Emma! Emma! Shit." Sean swore and called to Spike.

---

Emma jut ran and ran, and without noticing, ended up in the ravine. _Ok, I'll just go through it. It's not like he's here._ Suddenly, she was pulled to the van.

"What are you doing here?"

"Jay! You scared me so much!" Emma said.

"Snake's here. He saw you." Jay said, "Now tell me why you are here? Did something happen?"

"Let's go to your car. I'll tell you there." Emma went out of the van.

While Jay was driving, Emma told him the story:

"We were studying with Sean and he kissed me. I got scared. This does sound stupid, I know…"

"No, it doesn't." Jay said, "You have every right to be scared. What happened to you… Is horrible."

"Em, we were so worried!" Spike hugged Emma when they got home, "Jay, you can stay for dinner."

"Hey, Em. I-I'm sorry." Sean apologized.

"It's ok." Emma said.

During the dinner, Sean asked:

"So, where were you?"

"She was in the ravine." Jay said without thinking. _Shit. I'm such a jerk._

"What? I thought that you'll go to Manny's or something." Sean said.

"Well, that's really not your fault. I'm the one who was running there. You have no right to blame yourself." Emma convinced Sean.

"Ok, but-"Sean started, but Emma cut him off:

"No buts." Emma said, "I'll go downstairs now. Bye Jay."

"Bye!" Jay said.

---

On the next day, the first class was English.

"Emma, your book report, please." Mrs. Kwan said.

"I didn't do it." Emma mumbled.

"Sorry?"

"I said I didn't do it!" Emma yelled.

"Ok. You'll get a detention. Come to school on Saturday, please."

"But-"Emma started.

"Now, Sean, your book report." Kwan said, ignoring Emma.

"I didn't do it." Sean said.

"Ok, you'll get a detention, also." Kwan said and moved on to other students.

In the lunch break, Jay tried to cheer Emma up:

"C'mon! It'll be fun. I'll be there, also."

"Detention is _not _fun, Jay." Emma huffed.

---

On Saturday, Spinner, Paige, Alex, Jay, Emma and Alex were in the detention. Everyone was quiet, not knowing what to do or what to say. Especially because of Emma.

"Ok," Spinner broke the silence, "Let's tell why we're here."

"Uh… Ok." Jay started, "I'm here because I beat up Simpson. And because I didn't do my homework for Thursday, because I was staying over at Emma's, talking to Sean."

Emma gave him a _Why did you tell them _glance.

"You're staying at Emma's?" Spinner asked Sean.

"Yeah, on the couch." Sean said, "Anyway, I'm here because I didn't do my book report for Thursday, because I was talking to Jay."

"I'm here because I didn't do my book report for Thursday, also. First, I ran into the ravine, without noticing it, and then I was just thinking at home…" Emma said.

"Well, I'm here coz that caf scandal was my fault." Alex said.

"You're here coz I yelled?" Emma was surprised.

"Yeah…" Alex responded.

"I'm here because I got into a little fight with Heather Sinclair…" Paige said.

"I'm here coz I got into a fight with Jay, although he didn't mention it." Spinner ended the "game".

"I think we should write that thing now, what Ms. H. wanted." Paige said.

"Yeah…" Emma grabbed the paper.

Ms. H. said that they have to write what they have learned in the detention. But Emma just wrote what she felt. And doodled.

Jay didn't write, neither did Sean. They were discussing about Emma.

Paige was writing about the detention and the fight. Spinner wrote about the detention.

3 hours finally passed and Ms. H. came inside.

"Ok, you can go home now. But first, give me your papers." She said.

They all gave her the papers and left.

"Em, I'm going over Jay's. Can you go home by yourself?" Sean asked. _That came out kinda stupid…_

"I'm not a baby, Sean." Emma laughed, "See ya when you get back."

Emma was pretty near to her house, when someone grabbed him to a car…

**Author's note: Ok, review! Liked it? Hated it? The only person, who has really expressed her /his feelings about not liking something, has been formerflautist. PLEASE review. I'll get the next chapter up soon. BTW- I got the "why are we here game" from another fanfiction. **


	6. Meeting again

Ok, Born2Drama: I know I have like so many details that you wrote there. And some of them are really true. But I'm sorry, I can't be perfect. And also some questions I can answer to:

1) Emma WOULD be scared to testify. C'mon! She was RAPED.

2) In my school, if you haven't done the homework, you'll get a detention.

3) Marco was there himself. But yeah, he should have asked.

4) My cousin said that Snake would've not been put to jail. Not before the court.

5) Jay tried to cheer her up! It's not like he's smart at things like that.

6) They didn't know about that Emma & Snake thing until the drama that was in the caf.

7) Why can't Alex say the word „scandal"? It's not like she's retarded!

8) Why can't Snake be in the ravine? He was there when the rape happened, also.

9) I just wrote what Spinner wrote! It's not a big problem! I mean, he was in the detention!

But yeah: Spike is really weird. I know that. Sean's too... stupid. I know that, too. And they should've not let Emma go home by herself.

But then again: If you don't like this story, don't read it. Though, I'd like you to read. But it's your decision, anyway.

Now, this is the next chapter:

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Chapter 6: Meeting again.

Emma was pretty near her house, when someone grabbed her to a car. Emma was put to the backseats and was her hands and legs were tied up.

"Please…" Emma cried, "Let me go. Where are you taking me?"

Snake looked at her and said: "To somewhere special."

"Please! Let me go!" Emma cried, "I'll take off the charges against you! Anything! Just let me go! Leave me alone!"

"Fine." Snake said, "But there will be no court. Is that clear?"

"Y-yes." Emma cried.

Snake stopped the car. He untied Emma and let her go. Emma ran to her home. No-one was there. She locked the door and called Manny:

_Emma: Hey, Manny, that you?_

_**Manny: Yeah. Is everything all right?**_

_Emma: Please come here._

_**Manny: Ok, sure. See ya!**_

Emma hung up. She watched TV until she heard the doorbell ring.

"Hey," Emma said and let Manny in.

"You're crying. Is everything ok?" Manny asked.

"Yeah. Everything's over, also." Emma said.

"What do you mean by that?" Manny asked.

"I'm taking off the charges against Snake…" Emma said, "I just can't do that. I can't testify."

"It's ok." Manny hugged her best friend, "But then you'll see him. He wouldn't be back at school, but I don't think he'll leave you alone."

"He will." Emma said.

"How do you know that?" Manny asked.

"I… I saw him today. He wanted to kidnap me." Emma started to sob.

"What? Em, nothing happened, right?" Manny was worried.

"No…" Emma sobbed, "He'll leave me alone. You can be sure."

"I'm not leaving you alone. Ever again." Manny decided.

Then Jay and Sean came to Emma's.

"Hey. I just wanted to show Jay somethin'" Sean said.

"Ok." Emma said and wiped her tears away.

"Have you been crying?" Sean asked.

Emma looked at Sean. Then at Manny. She hoped that may-be Manny wouldn't tell them. But she knew her friend too well.

"She's taking off the charges." Manny said.

"What?" was Jay's first expression, "C'mon!"

"I can't do that!" Emma said.

"But he'll hunt you the rest of your life." Jay protested.

"He'll leave me alone." Emma said.

"How do you know that?" Sean asked.

"I-"Emma started, but was cut off by Manny:

"She saw him today."

"What?" Came from both of the boys.

"Are you ok? He didn't do anything, right?" Sean asked.

"No." Emma responded.

Then Spike came home with Jack.

"Em, what's wrong? What happened?" Spike asked when she saw Emma was sobbing.

"I… I'll go downstairs." Emma said. She really didn't want to talk to her mom about what had happened. And what she had decided.

"Wait, Em." Spike said, but Emma was already downstairs, "What happened?"

"She met Snake today." Manny said.

"What?" was Spike's reaction. She went to the stairs.

"Wait, Spike." Sean said, "She's taking off the charges. Snake promised to leave her alone."

Spike went downstairs.

"Em, please open the door." Spike pleaded.

"No." she heard a voice.

"Please, Em." Spike pleaded again.

Emma unlocked the door and went back to the bed.

"Em, I heard what happened." Spike started, "Are you really sure he'll leave you alone."

"Yes. Please, leave me alone now." Emma said.

"Emma, I want to help you." Spike sat on Emma's bed, "It's ok that you don't want to testify. You should do it, but I can't judge you. I have no idea what happened to you."

"Why did he do that to me?" Emma cried.

"I don't know honey." Spike hugged her daughter, "I'm so sorry. I didn't know that he was like that."

They sat there in silence for a while. After 10 minutes, Spike went to the door.

"I'll go upstairs now. Manny's holding Jack and I don't want to bother her. Be up after 30 minutes, if you're hungry." Spike said.

Before she went upstairs, she said: "I think you might need a psychiatrist."

Emma didn't answer anything, so Spike went upstairs.

**Author's note: So, this was the 6th chapter. I hope you all liked this. The next chapter will be about Emma trying to deal with the pain inside of her. I hope you liked it. REVIEW!**


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